Turn your RESOLUTIONS into SOLUTIONS
(Best New Years Resolutions)
Can you hear it? The build up! The collective deep breath! The collective sound of the masses as we approach start the new year. The build up with the hopes and dreams to get rid of bad habits at the start of the new year, to become that newer person we dream about!
Unfortunately as you know, the collective deep breath of hope is followed by the collective exhausting breath of deflation as we lapse on our commitment to the resolution- we find reasons not to stick to them. Why?
First of all do you really want to get rid of these habits? They often can give us short term pleasure and good feelings, we don’t have to fight inertia, or fight the risk of not making a change in case we fail, thus why try at all!
Many feel they get more pleasure from the habit or behaviour than they would from adopting a better lifestyle. And short term that may be true. And they see this as more important than what they might get if they actually adopted and incorporated the new behavior (habit) into their lifestyle. The pain of change may hold some back. Thus they don’t get what they truly want.
Why? Not important enough to make the change. Simply put, they don’t have a big enough WHY
You can watch the video here…
I assume you want something better in your life right? More fun, joy, better health and better relationships, more money And that you want a change and improvement a new behavior that is attainable and sustainable. Something that is doable. = The solution you want
Maybe you also want the good feelings. The feeling of accomplishment, strength and pride as we adopt them. The positive feelings of increased self trust. We get to grow and learn. It’s about filling our life with more of the positive and less of the negative.
Question. How do you improve the quality of your life?
The quality of your life is based on the feeling you experience on a consistent bases and most only have these feeling sporadically, every once in a while. They don’t have these positive feelings on an ongoing bases.
If you can’t make your dreams or goals happen how unfulfilling and disappointing is that? Instead of getting better as we age, we become… bitter!
You must understand, the focus in not in setting a goal- that’s easy! You need a support mechanism that keeps you on track and gets you back on track when you falter! You need a system that guides and helps you make it happen.
So it’s taking you from the idea of a “resolution” which is a goal, to the idea of a new “solution” which is attainable and sustainable! That increases the quality of your life.
I’m studying a book called Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. Think about the name… predictably irrational. Think how this applies to resolutions. For many they don’t make sense.
I’ve learned some things and funny enough; I see how they unfold in myself and others. It’s allowing me a new insight to help get more from myself, to help me take the brakes off my forward progression. And to break non supporting habits and behaviours I have. This new understanding is helping to set myself up to win!
One thing I know for sure… there are only two things that change your life.
Either something new comes into your life OR …
something new comes from within you.
You decide to demonstrate a higher level of motivation and personal power.
So lets talk about what you need to have a viable solution that is attainable and sustainable:
1. Emotion: Have you heard the saying; people buy what they want not what they need? Most people make emotional choices, not logical ones. You will rarely make a lasting decision based on logic. You need a deep emotional reason for “why” you want this change in your life and why you want to maintain the change. So how big is your why?
Task: write down all the negatives associated with this behavior you want to change. And really stir the pot. How are you going to feel? How is going to affect others? How is going to affect your health, relationships, job or career etc? Really dig deep for some negative reasons and stir some really negative feeling related to this behaviour.
Next, think about all the positives that will come from this new behaviour and very importantly, surface all the great positive emotions and feeling you are going to have. Basically you want to develop a bigger WHY and link obtaining this behaviour to lots of emotions.
2. Clarity and Focus: you need to know, in exact detail, what you want. Real simple here… You get what you focus on and what you focus on expands! How can you win or score if you don’t know where the goal post or finish line is? So what is your goal post, finish line, the result that you want to achieve. How are you going to measure this? Where energy goes result happen.
Task: So what is it you want? Write it down in really clear details. What has to happen, be in place etc for you to feel you have a “WIN”. Also, write down how you will feel when you follow through and obtain it. NICE eh!
This will be helpful for when you lose focus and get distracted. Know your values. This makes life so much easier when you know what it is you want. Just asks yourself, will this take me closer to my goal? Yes or no. If yes, do it. If not, forget it.
3. Accountability: you have to be accountable to yourself but many don’t. They don’t have the self trust that they will actually follow through and complete the goal. They have set so many goals and set so many plans and because they don’t have a system to follow through and make them happen they don’t! They give up setting goals. They forget their dreams. Their passion dies and life becomes boring, and unfulfilled. Life isn’t boring… you are. Change! Rekindle the passion. Get the fire going again. It’s never too late.
Like most of us, you will do better if you also feel accountable to others. That’s why coaching is so powerful. That’s why when you tell a friend you will be some place you show up!
Sometimes you need an outside perspective of yourself. Someone who sees something greater in you than maybe you do yourself. I can help hold you to a new standard. I want to show you a new way and hold you accountable. I want to demand a higher level of performance and commitment in you to help you re-ignite that inner flame, the passion, to help you make that dream or goal happen and come alive. I want to help you make progress and raise your standard. You don’t have to be perfect but you need to be able to make progress to have those wonderful feelings of accomplishment. You need to learn and grow. That’s what life is about.
Task: Get a coach or mentor. Get accountable. Or, find someone who you can buddy up with to achieve the same goal. Get their commitment and give them yours to achieving this goal.
4. A plan: Just like you need clarity in “High Definition” to make your goal a reality, you need a very clear plan. As the saying goes, many who fail to plan, plan to fail. Write you plan out in detail and work your plan
Task: Brainstorm and have fun. Focus on one goal for the moment and write down 7 things you could do to obtain it right now. Prioritize the list. Then for each step write out 7 things you need to do to make that step happen. Prioritize them. You now have a prioritized 49 step plan to obtain your goal. Take action! Do one thing on that list right now, however small. Start the process and get momentum. Do the next tomorrow. Make it happen. Consistently fulfilling these small goals builds your confidence and momentum.
5. Reality: Persistence: As stated earlier, setting a goal is easy. But how realistic is it? How much time, energy, effort and financial investment are you willing to put into obtaining your goal? Big loft goals that really make you stretch are great however an excessively ambitious goal may be setting yourself up to fail. Remember, shoot for the stars and you may end up hitting the moon. Les Brown
Task: write out the exact amount of time you will spend working towards your goal everyday. Next, do the same for the amount of energy, effort and your financial commitment.
6. Contingencies/ Plan B: You are going to need a “plan B” when/ in case you get off track. You should practice or rehearse what to do when you are challenged or when something comes up. Stuff happens as they say. I will be providing further trainings as a resource to help you with this.
Task: List some of the possible realistic things, the “stuff”, that could happen to prevent you from fulfilling your goal. Be realistic here. An earthquake may happen but isn’t likely. If it’s raining and you were going to exercise outside, have a raincoat or Gortex shell ready. If traffic is bad and you get home late, would 20 minutes of walking be better than nothing? Set yourself up to win. Plan for challenges and stuff to get in your way. Remember, obstacles are not stop signs! They are there to help you refocus and re-commit to your solution goal.
7.Reminders: you are going to forget why you are making these better choices and seeking solutions. You are going to need reminders (more accountability). These can happen via phone calls, email, visual clues (post it notes), physical (fitness test) or face to face communication with someone.
Task: write up your goal and use post it notes to put them in key areas. Set your daytimer/ calendar with reminders, sign up for weekly newsletter that are motivation and inspiring. Put up pictures of people doing, having what you want. This works well with pictures you find emotionally charged and inspirational. Surround yourself with other like minded people who reinforce your choices and actions!
8. Forgiveness-Flexibility: Be easy on yourself. You are going to make mistakes, forget things and basically screw up ever now and then. That’s life. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Get back on the horse and get back at it. Have the flexibility to change your plans. Be adaptable. Sometimes you will just need to go with the flow! Without flexibility you will overly stress yourself out and cause yourself unnecessary pain and frustration. This will add undue burden you don’t need. So become more flexible and forgiving.
9. Commitment: you may need to find a new level of commitment. One like you may never have had before. Do you truly understand the level of commitment required? Do you need an example or someone to emulate from? Hang out with like minded people and tap into their good energy. See what it really takes to make it happen. You can’t have everything so focus on your goal and make it a higher priority. With out commitment you will never really put your heart into it so you wound get the result you want, you’ll lose self trust and life will become much more frustrating and full of disappointment.
Task: If you are unfamiliar with this find a mentor, someone who has the results you want and ask them for help. Emulate someone who has the results you want. Get a coach. You will have to tap into your imagination to clearly visualize this. This is where having a bigger why comes into place. By following the other steps your commitment will go much higher.
10. Celebration: This is one of the most forgotten and overlooked aspects of having a sustainable solution. You must celebrate your achievement and victories. Don’t you work hard for them? Haven’t you sacrificed? Don’t you deserve a WIN? Of course so celebrate.
Task: Every time you do something that you feel is important make a fist and do a fist pump and yell “YES”. Get your whole body into it. If you are in a public place and feel a bit self conscious, just do this under your breath. Further to this, with your 49 step plan, each step do something to celebrate and acknowledge that you put out the effort and desire some good feelings. AS a double bonus, help others with this and you get to “double dip” on the good vibes. If you see someone do something good or achieve something above them, reach out and give them a high five. By the way, if it’s a lame celebration effort on your or their part. Call it and redo it but this time with passion! YES!
I want to help transform you into your truest, most authentic and best self so you lead a life of passion with purpose, with direction and mission. You deserve to be fulfilled with satisfaction and peace of mind. You won’t get that by setting resolutions. However, you will get there by shifting your mind set from resolutions into solutions that are attainable and sustainable!
- What are your thoughts on this?
- How are you going to improve the quality of your life?
- How are you going to raise the bar?
- What ways are you going to reduce the stress in your life?
- How are you going to keep your resolutions?
Do you want more from your life? Click here to find out the best ways to live an amazing life
Best of health and spirits to you